A few statements about the sexual act

A fundamental psychological need of the human being is that of reproduction. Other psychological needs are those of food, water, air, clothes etc.

In order to satisfy these needs, there must be followed five stages:

1) In the first stage a specific signal of suffering appears (hunger, thirsty, sensation of suffocation, cold, “sexual attraction”), which warns us that we have to perform the specific actions if we want to keep the harmony of our own system (to eat, to drink, to breathe, to get dressed, to imply in a continent sexual act etc.).

Observation: The need of reproduction (the involvement in a sexual act with a partner of opposed sex, ended with the man’s ejaculation in the woman’s vagina) is characteristic for the all members of the species able of reproduction (with the reproduction system intact).

As we all know, the sexual act has the main role of bringing in touch the man’s spermatozoid with the woman’s ovule and to give birth to a new life.



But this doesn’t mean that the sexual act should always end with the creation of a new life, because it can also have many other functions (for example: it’s a way of strengthening of the harmony in the couple).

2) In the second stage we begin the fulfillment of the actions mentioned at (1).

3) When the specific actions of the needs satisfaction begins, in the same time, in our psyche a specific signal of pleasure appears too, pointing out that we’re on the point of restoring the harmony destroyed by the previous not performing of the need.

The signal continues to manifest until -

4) The complete satisfaction of that need: after that, it disappears, making place -

5) To a signal of harmony, relaxation and temporary rest, which lasts as long as the need is satisfied.

Observation:

1. After the stage (5) the cycle of the need’s satisfaction begins again. All the stages are only temporary (everything is a change) lasting more or less, but none of them lasts “forever”.

2. At the stage (3), the signal of pleasure and suffering takes place in the same time.
So when we start to eat, the first mouthful causes a specific signal of pleasure; but one mouthful is not enough to feel full; so the signal of the hunger reappears; we take another mouthful, and the signal of pleasure appears again, followed by that of hunger, and so on.

The sensation of hunger diminishes while we eat and perish completely when the need of food is completely satisfied (but only temporary). Similarly the intensity of the signal of pleasure, produced by the process of eating, decreases during this process.

So, in the stage of the beginning and deployment of the specific actions of satisfaction of the psychological needs, the signals of suffering, respectively of pleasure are stronger at the beginning of this process and diminish their intensity up to their disappearance at the end of the process, when their place is taken by a specific signal of harmony (peace, relaxation, tranquility etc.).

So, the complete satisfaction of the need of food leads to the temporary disappearance of the signal of hunger; the satisfaction of the need of hydration leads to the temporary disappearance of the thirst; the satisfaction of the need of thermal comfort leads to the disappearance of the sensation of cold; the satisfaction of the need of reproduction leads to the temporary disappearance of the “sexual attraction”.

So, the stage (3) is followed by a stage of relative harmonization of the physical system, pointed out by the signal of harmony (relaxation, rest etc.); after that the cycle begins again: the hunger, the thirst, the cold, and the “sexual attraction” etc. reappears.

3. Why is the sexual attraction one of the forms of manifestation of the signal of suffering?

Because it points out the necessity to satisfy a need: that of reproduction!

It has all the characteristics of a signal of suffering, it’s characterized by a kind of inner agitation, by stress, by anxiety etc.; when we feel the state of “sexual attraction” it can’t be said that we feel calm, relaxed, totally detached etc.

Observation: In the case of any need, the apparition of the signal of suffering which points it out, doesn’t necessarily imply the necessity of the immediate satisfaction of that need (the process of feeding can be postponed even 25 – 40 days if we want to, that of hydration for 3 – 4 days, that of reproduction for several weeks, etc.) and neither its blind and; unconscious satisfaction; from many well-grounded reasons, we don’t eat anything, don’t drink anything and don’t start a sexual act with anyone, anyhow and anytime etc.

Anyway, from the moment of the apparition of the signal of suffering which points out the necessity of satisfaction of a need, we have to be aware that it will last (with a higher or lower intensity) until, sooner or later, we’ll satisfy that need (but even then, it will disappear only temporary).

If we refuse to satisfy any of these physiological needs, we’ll finally destroy the harmony and even the existence of our own system.




4. The cycle of the satisfaction of the physiological needs can be disturbed by two processes:

- the non-satisfaction of the need (the post, the abstinence); when, for a period of time, the need’s satisfaction is postponed;

- the under-satisfaction of the need (sub-hydration, malnutrition, the continent etc.); when the need’s completely satisfaction is postponed.


The normal flow of the cycle of the satisfaction of the need of reproduction is:

1) The sexual attraction appears as a form of suffering, which points out the need of reproduction.

2) In favorable circumstances, it’s followed by the sexual act; at the beginning of this act, the “sexual attraction” is the strongest (in intensity); like the signal of pleasure which accompanies the beginning.

3) During the act’s deployment, the sexual pleasure and the specific suffering manifest successively (under the form of the “sexual attraction”); they both urge for the continuation of the act until the complete satisfaction of the need (the man’s ejaculation in the woman’s vagina).

4) After the need’s satisfaction, there’s a period of rest, of relaxation, after which the process can be started again.


In the case of the sexual continence, the complete satisfaction of the need of reproduction is postponed (the ejaculation, in the man’s case, and the orgasm, in the woman’s case).

In these conditions, the signal of specific pleasure and that of specific suffering continues to manifest successively, but both urging for the total satisfaction of the need of reproduction.

In these conditions, the balance (the harmonization) at the physical level is not achieved and thus, the signal of rest, of harmony can’t appear.

Those two could continue the sexual act with continence up to their physical exhaustion, making only the effort of avoiding the over-passing of the point of non-return (after which the ejaculation follows and it can’t be stopped to produce).

Such a sexual act with continence looks like a feeding with continence; let’s imagine that, after we haven’t eat anything for a few days, we start to eat, tasting only a piece of pie; immediately, a signal of gustative pleasure appears, which shows us that “we are on the good way” (to continue to eat until we’ll completely satisfy the need of food, if we want to achieve the harmony of the physical body).

But let’s imagine that we stop from eating for a few seconds. The sensation of hunger reappears, pointing out that that small piece of pie it’s not enough for the complete satisfaction of the need of food we have in that moment and that is necessary to continue to eat.
Then, we take another piece of pie and stop again for a few seconds and so on, prolonging very much the process of feeding (more that it would be normally necessary).

Obviously, if we want to reach the state of harmony at this level as soon as possible, we have to eat only how it’s necessary and as quicker as possible (meaning not to make long pauses during the normal process of assimilation of the food).


But we can aim, besides the process of satisfaction of the need of food, other things, too. For instance, the strengthen of the will and of the power of concentration and self - control etc.

In these conditions we can also make this alimentary continence (the fast is such a continence), but attention: if the practitioners don’t eat enough, they never feel full and thus the signal of the specific suffering (of hunger) continues to manifest in themselves. In the case of the black fast (when nothing is eaten), we speak about “an alimentary abstinence”.

The same thing happens in the case of the sexual act: the postponement of its finalization (the postponement of the complete satisfaction of the need of reproduction) leads to the maintenance in ourselves of some specific signals of suffering (which point out these things – anxieties and agitations, specific to the “sexual attraction”).

Different spiritual methods (different tantric and Hindu sects) recommend the sexual continence (the lengthening of the sexual act by postponing its finalizing because we want this) ; indeed it can be a good exercise of strengthening the will, the power of concentration and self control ; it also allows the superior harmonization and the strengthening of the relaxation between those two (a he and a she), which is practiced in a stable relation (things which mustn’t be neglected in the achieving of a bigger familial harmonization).

But those who practice it, must never forget about the mechanism previously described; these trainings, this kind of practice don’t bring the peace of the soul, don’t lead to the apparition of the signal of harmony; this is brought only by the finalization of the sexual act; it’s good this thing to be known and to be understood.

So, a sexual continence has its positive aspects (it leads to the strengthening of the capacity of self-control, of the relation of couple etc.) but also some negative ones (it deters the temporary and complete satisfaction of the need of reproduction and thus, it allows the maintenance, in the one who practices it, of a specific signal of suffering which points out exactly this thing and which is able to manifest strong enough to distort the attention from other necessary needs – physical, psychical etc.).

If the continence has the negative aspects mentioned above, it must be treated very prudently; but more prudent we have to be in the case of the abstinence (the refuse to satisfy of a need); in this case the signal of specific psychical suffering which points out that the necessity of satisfaction of the need will continue to disturb us with a higher or a lower intensity, until it will be satisfied.


Needs:
Of food
Of water
Of thermic comfort
Of reproduction

The stages of the cycle of satisfaction of the needs:

1. The apparition of a specific signal of suffering which points out the necessity of beginning the process of satisfaction of a specific need
-the apparition of the signal of suffering specific to the sensation of hunger
- the apparition of the signal of suffering specific to the sensation of thirst
-the apparition of the signal of suffering specific to the sensation of cold
- the apparition of the signal to the “sexual attraction”

2
a)
The beginning and the deployment of the need’s satisfaction
The beginning and the deployment of the process of feeding
The beginning and the deployment of the process of hydration
The beginning and the deployment of the process of thermic balancing
The beginning and the deployment of the real or imaginary sexual act, with or without a partner

b)
The insufficient satisfaction of the need
Of food
Of hydration
Of thermic comfort
Of reproduction

c)
The un-satisfaction of the need

3
a)
The diminution of the sensation of specific suffering and the apparition of a specific sensation of pleasure
The diminution of the sensation of hunger and the apparition of the gustative pleasure
The diminution of the sensation of thirst and the apparition of the sensation of hydration
The diminution of the sensation of cold and the apparition of the sensation of warm
The diminution of the “sexual attraction” and the apparition of the sensation of sexual pleasure

b)
The persistence of the signal of specific suffering even if the signal of pleasure appears too and manifests from time to time
The persistence of the sexual attraction in the same time with the periodic manifestation of the sensation of sexual pleasure

c)
The persistence of the specific signal of suffering and the lack of the specific pleasure
The persistence of the “sexual attraction” and the lack of the sexual pleasure

4
The complete satisfaction of the need
The assimilation of a sufficient quantity of food in order to assure the well-running of the system
The assimilation of a sufficient and optimum quantity of water for the well-running of the psychical system
The achieving of a thermic equilibrium of the physical system
The ejaculation at man
The orgasm at woman

5
The apparition of the signal of harmony characteristic to this need
The apparition of the sensation of satiety
The disappearance of the sensation of thirst and the apparition of a state of equilibrium
The apparition of a state of thermic equilibrium
The apparition of a state of relaxation

Of course, the black fast, the abstinence etc. can be also used as exercises of strengthening the will and the power of self-control, but also for the physical and “spiritual” purification; but they must be treated cautiously, because the un-satisfaction of the needs leads, on long term, at some important disequilibrium in the physical and physical system.

For the amateurs of the exercises of strengthening the will and the power of self-control, it can be recommended not only the abstinence but / and the sexual continence.



The same efficiency can have:

- the alimentary abstinence (the black fast; nothing to eat, but just to drink water or tea);

- the abstinence of drinking water (two or three days, not more);

- the alimentary continence (for example, when the sensation of hunger appears, it can be eaten a slice of bread with gem during an hour or more; first it is swallowed only one little piece, after which a break of a few seconds is taken; then another little piece is taken, and so on);

- the "hydration" continence (a glass of water is taken, when the sensation of thirst appears, and then, after a few seconds another one is taken and so on).

But they mustn’t forget (as I’ve already mentioned) the obvious fact that, to expect to reach the state of harmony (of relaxation, good, peace etc.) as long as we practice the abstinence, is a false expectation.

As long as we’ll practice them, we’ll deter the complete satisfaction of the physiological needs, with their consequences; this thing is pointed out by the persistence of the signal of suffering specific to the each need.

See also: A case study: the love